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[feelslikequiet]

OUT OF CHARACTER:
Name/Handle: JC
Contact: hellblazing


IN-CHARACTER:
Character name: Cullen Rutherford
Character journal: feelslikequiet
Series name: Dragon Age
Canon notes: OU, Dragon Age: Inquisition from just before What Pride Had Wrought

World State Info:
» The Warden was a female human mage
» The mages at the Ferelden Circle were saved
» The Warden performed the Ultimate Sacrifice
» Hawke is a male mage who sided with the mages
» Alistair and Anora rule Ferelden together
» The Inquisitor is a male Dalish elf warrior
» The Inquisitor encouraged Cullen to stay off lyrium
» Sought the help of the mages at Redcliffe
» Accepted the rebel mages into the Inquisition as allies
» Hawke saved from the Fade at Adamant, Stroud left behind
» Grey Wardens spared, accepted as allies
» Celene retained as Empress, Briala spared, Gaspard spared, Florianne spared
» Clan Lavellan wiped out

Species: Human

History:

Cullen's Background

Personality:

Cullen freely admits to the Inquisitor that he's not the same person he used to be. The events at Kinloch Hold in Ferelden changed him, and for a long time the change wasn't for the better. He's working on this, and he's made some great strides, but life has been a bit of a roller coaster for him.

He feels like quiet...

As a child with three siblings, Cullen was always the quiet one. When life with his siblings became too hectic he would sneak off to a nearby lake to find a bit of peace and quiet (that spot at the lake is still his favorite to this day, although he doesn't have much of a chance to sneak off anymore). In contrast with his image as the Commander of the Inquisition's forces he's actually rather shy and introverted. He had quite a crush on the Hero of Ferelden while she was still just another mage at the Ferelden Circle, although he could never work up the courage to say anything about it (it would have been inappropriate anyway, as it would have been considered fraternization). When confronted about his feelings by the Hero he fell to blushing and stammering, and eventually ran away, citing the need to see to other duties.

He's friendly enough, and doesn't find normal interactions overly problematic, but he doesn't go out of his way to make friends or expose himself to purely social gatherings. Varric tries several times to get him to attend a game of Wicked Grace with the rest of the Inner Circle, and it's only after a great deal of cajoling that Cullen relents. The ball at Halamshiral was an intensely awkward experience for him, not only because the ball was populated with so many manipulative people, but also because he drew so much attention and was literally surrounded by people fawning over him all night. In such situations he remains polite but walls himself off, answering questions as if on auto-pilot.

Part of this also stems from the fact that Cullen has tried very hard to shield himself emotionally. The events in Kinloch Hold, witnessing so much death and having been tortured, have left him with emotional scars that still linger ten years later. Although the extent of the torture can only be imagined, it is known that Uldred used illusions of people the Templars knew against them--he mistook the Hero of Ferelden for another illusion, assuming that Uldred was using his infatuation for her against him. Afterward Cullen was a wreck, lashing out, calling for the death of people he knew because they might be abominations. He has admitted to the Inquisitor that he doesn't like the person that he became after Kinloch Hold, that he wasn't the same person afterward. He is still plagued by nightmares of Kinloch Hold, nightmares that make sleep a challenge on a daily basis.

All it says is, "Uldred marked you, but didn't make you. You stayed you... The center never changed."

As a way of coping with the trauma at the Circle all those years ago, Cullen has a need to throw himself into a cause. At the time it was the Templar Order, of course, and when he transferred to Kirkwall he found an equally zealous commanding officer in Meredith. Over time his faith in the Order waned, and now he has thrown himself into his work for the Inquisition. He believes very strongly in the potential of the Inquisition, in the good that they are capable of. Between his need to keep himself busy to distract himself from unhappy thoughts, and to do the work of the Inquisition, Cullen is a widely known workaholic. He works constantly, tirelessly, prompting the Inquisitor to ask him if he ever sleeps. He is focused and exacting, expecting more from himself than anyone else around him. Sera calls him "General Uptight" behind his back, and points out Cullen's need for control to the Inquisitor.

"Apparently I spend too much time with a serious expression on my face, and it’s bad for my health."

He's also stubborn, almost to a fault. Knowing that the withdrawal symptoms he suffers (he is in enough pain at various times to prompt the other advisors to question his well-being; he admits merely to a headache) could make him a liability to the Inquisition, could make his judgments questionable, he makes a deal with Cassandra that she will relieve him of duty should she believe him incapable of performing his duties. At a certain point the withdrawal becomes bad enough that he asks her to do so. She refuses, and he argues the point. He stubbornly fights against the urge to begin taking lyrium again, and he stubbornly insists that he's not good enough, not in fit enough condition, to lead the army.

He fights against taking lyrium again because he no longer wants anything to do with that life, with the chains the Chantry and the Order imposed on him. Still, despite leaving the Order and taking a dim view of what both the Order and the Chantry have become, he still retains his faith. He has questioned at times, but he remains a devout Andrastian.

Fittingly for the Commander of the Inquisition's armies, Cullen has a very tactical mind. His favorite pasttime is chess. His suggestions to the Inquisitor are, of course, always military oriented (he has been a military man for the vast majority of his life), although some of them are pretty damn clever (such as sneaking a couple of plain-clothes Templars into Tevinter to disrupt the work of enemy mages, or marching the Inquisition's troops through the center of conflict to make each side think the Inquisition has allied with the other). Though he specializes in tactics and strategy, the subtleties of manipulation and politics are largely lost on him. Which is probably why he's so god-awful at Wicked Grace.

Safe and strong, protecting and proud...

The Templars are known to be some of the finest warriors in Thedas, and not only was Cullen a Templar for most of his adult life, he was a Knight-Captain in Kirkwall. Iron Bull expresses admiration for Cullen's training of the Inquisition's troops. He is a strong, skilled warrior, but above all his primary concern is protecting people. It's why he joined the Templars in the first place, and it's why he works so hard for the Inquisition now.

Though he came out of the experience in Kinloch Hold with a cold, cruel view of mages in general, Cullen has softened considerably on this. He has spent too long as a Templar, seen too much devastation and depravity caused by mages, to believe them all to be good or harmless, but he does not treat them with the kind of utter disdain he used to. He knows that he wasn't in a great state of mind after the ordeal with Uldred and he's actively, consciously trying to make himself into a better person.

Abilities:

Cullen is a skilled, experienced warrior trained to use a sword and shield together, and trained specifically to counter magical attacks. He has experience with leading troops in person and also with planning military tactics during war. Technically he still has Templar abilities that nullify magic although without taking lyrium he can't access them.

Augment Skillset: Security